I’m going to ease into this blogging world by first sharing other writings I find amusing. But worry not, I’m sure I won’t be able to hold back my own musings for long.
Rhett Smith, my former college pastor (former in the sense that I graduated and former since he’s relocating to TX), told me about this satirical blog titled “Stuff Christians Like.” The author explores all the idiosyncrasies of the Christian world — and it got me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my pristine, rollie office chair.
“It’s probably not good that I measure the quality of my group prayers by the number of grunts of affirmation I get. What are those? A grunt of affirmation is when you pray in a group and someone near you says, “Mhm” or “Unh” or some other grunt like statement that means, “I’m down with that.”…
The Stuff Christian Like Prayer Score Card
…12. You over repeat God’s name as if He has forgotten it e.g. “God, Lord, Father, Alpha and Omega we pray to you Holy One, Messiah” = minus 1 point per each usage
13. You say “sweet baby Jesus” while praying = +1 point per each usage
14. You pray after the appointed “closer” has ended the prayer session = minus 5 points
15. You pray so long that some people start jingling their car keys as an indication of their desire to leave = minus 1 point
16. You quote an entire Bible verse in the middle of your prayer = + 1 point
17. The verse is from the King James Version = +2 points
Check out the rest of this article — titled “The Prayer Grunt of Affirmation”…and let me know how you scored next time you pray publicly.
