Paisley (not plaid) Menswear Chic!

{ August 7, 2008 @ 10:14 am } · { Uncategorized }
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In addition to being “the funny one,” one of the many amazing things about Paisley is her humility.  Pais is one of my best friends and she deserves a big-ol shout out.  love you, paisel nordis.

probably about a year ago, Paisley was working at a small beach coffee shop, just trying to make a buck so she wouldn’t have to ask her family for money.  a guy ordered and sweet paisley gave it to him (nice) and proceeded to ask her if she had ever modeled before.  sounds sketchy, but if you knew paisley, you’d probably ask her too — seeing as she is gorgeous and has the ability to eat del taco DAILY and stay slim.

she told him she had in fact done some photo shoots and he told he was an agent from Ford Models and he wanted her to sign with the agency.  All those countless hours we sat and watched America’s Next Top Model and told Paisley to audition seemed relevant and pointless because if she was to go on that show, the grand prize is a contract with Ford.  Ladies and Gents, my lovely, humble Paisley is now a Ford Model.

While on the most amazing road trip EVER, Paisley, Ally, Bern, and I were walking through a San Francisco mall when Paisley stopped us and said “oh, you guys, look at this,” and pointed to a GIANT screen with her beautiful face on it in the window of metropark clothing.  ”How did you not tell us about this?!” we shouted.  I was so proud of Paisley’s ambition and talent, I had to give her the credit I knew she was too humble to ask for.

every person who walked by that store, i shouted “HEY! see that girl in the window?  this is HER!! She’s my friend!!!”  Most people laughed at me, but I didn’t care.  Paisley is amazing — in her natural ability to model, her kindness to everyone, her brilliant humor, her intellect, her awareness of current events and politics, her love for her family and friends…

It should have come as no surprise when Pais casually mentioned she was going to be on E! News in a special segment… ahh!!  however she does it, she is a shining example of a follower of Christ and I am so blessed to know her.  Paisley is more than just a pretty face, and more than just a model.  she puts meaning and creativity into her work and I commend her for remaining humble.  How can someone so wonderful keep her head on her shoulders?! i think it has a lot to do with where she finds her true identity — in God.  

Paisley embodies the Colossians 2:6-7: “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”  Thank you, Pais for being exactly how you are<3

Who’s “Hollywood” Enough for the “Video”?

{ July 31, 2008 @ 5:31 pm } · { humor }
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Sometimes the Block is a Bust, ya know what I’m saying? Haven’t you ever walked aimlessly around a Blockbuster (or Hollywood Video or whatever) with you eyes droopy and your mouth open, waiting for something to call out, “HEY!!!!! RENT MEeeEeeEee!”

No? You probably have, don’t lie.

I definitely have. Sometimes when my boyfriend, Peter, and I just want to have a nice quiet evening in, sometimes we walk down the street to the local Blockbuster and hope something will scream at us because we rarely go there with a movie in mind.

So we were thinking… how cool would it be to pick a phenomenial, timeless actor or actress and start from the very beginning of their career and watch every movie they’ve starred in until now? TOTALLY COOL. But who?

There’s your obvious choices — Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep, Al Pachino, Susan Surrandon, Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman… but who do you suggest?

Who is timeless, limitless in their character types, and thrilling enough to watch from beginning to end? (And is it me, or are there stronger male actor names that come up on your list?)

Cake as Art…Very Rare.

{ July 31, 2008 @ 5:10 pm } · { humor }
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Well, I like cake. and I like art. actually i really love art. cake is good, too — i just prefer pure chocolate.

So when boredom struck at work and I knew I had to distract myself momentarily from my MGM-HD film inventory spreadsheet, I turned to the trusty “Stumble!” icon Peter hooked me on. It’s really amazing – you download this pop-up free toolbar and input your “interests” and then you “stumble,” which means you click a button and it takes you to random websites catered to your likes.

And as I said, I’m a fan of sweets and art so it’s really no surprise I stumbled upon this..

MIKE’S AMAZING CAKES!

Ha. Really? That’s what you call these things? I feel like it doesn’t quite do it justice… yes, Mike designs them. Yes, they’re cakes and they are indeed amazing… but take a look at these CREATIONS…

I’ll leave you with one of my personal favs… IT’S A RARE ONE!!! muahaha

And by taught, I mean learned.

{ July 24, 2008 @ 5:15 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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If had any interaction with me last semester, you probably heard me mention various fascinating tidbits from my “Hebrew Scriptures” class, taught by Rabbi Barclay. And by taught, I mean learned.

Rabbi Barclay gave a speech on the first day of class I thought was a bit of a crock; he said “By the end of the semester, I will have learned just as much from you as you have learned from me.” Sounds hokey, right? He was just saying that to seem humble and boost our esteem so we’d raise our hands and get our full participation points. How could I possibly teach this teacher, this Rabbi, who has studied the Old Testament (ahem, don’t tell him I called it that because he said that assumes there is a New Testament) for years and years and is a highly regarded “expert” on the text? Throughout the semester and still more today, I am beginning to fully understand what the true meaning behind his words.

All of our individual thoughts or beliefs about what Scripture says are simply our own individual commentaries on the text. Meaning, I can interpret a verse one way and my friend could interpret it another way, and my pastor can interpret it another way… and who is to say whose interpretation is “truth?” Why should one person’s interpretation be the right one?

As my boyfriend, Peter, mentioned last night in his talk at Quest concerning the Biblical evidence for and against homosexuality,

Even when we believe the Scriptures are “infallible” or “without error,” it’s terribly dangerous to think that our understanding of every biblical text is also without error.

So I think what Rabbi Barclay was trying to say is that my interpretation of the text is just as valid and true as his interpretation. It didn’t matter that he had a reputation for being so wise because my interpretation was just as true. He would always shout to the class “So which interpretation is right, A or B?” and it was our duty to all shout back, “YES.” Both can be right.

I guess I’m just not one of those people who see issues as black and white. I believe there is grey most often because who defines black and white anyways?

A friend and sister in Christ said last night “the Bible never contradicts itself,” which I lovingly disagree with. One of my intern reading assignments is a book called “A Handbook to the Christian Faith” which is basically a paperback textbook on all things Christian. In one section it talks about the “majority rule” of reading the Bible, going on to explain that when there are 6 verses in the Bible about women in church leadership positions and 4 of them say it’s fine and 2 say it’s not, you should go with the majority who portray women in a positive role in the church. And that’s how I believe the text should be read.

But hey, I could be right and so could you.

What do you think? Does the Bible ever contradict itself? Is it possible to say that my interpretation of a certain verse is true as well as someone elses, as long as it is rooted in the text?

Baptism: Submerged, Sprinkled or Stopped?

{ July 9, 2008 @ 12:54 am } · { College Ministry }
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Okay, so maybe “stop” isn’t the best word, but you come up with a term beginning with “s” that means “not at all”… Suspended perhaps? Hm. Well, I’m open for suggestions :)

When I was a cute lil pudge-cicle of a baby, my parents baptized me through the Catholic Church. I don’t remember it, but I imagined it was pretty cool being center of attention and getting a nice lil refreshing bath in the middle of the day. plus, i bet i was wearing so really fru-fru dress. what lil girl doesn’t like being pamped?

I obviously missed the point of this whole baby baptism thing when it happened, but now I’m looking back and wondering what it was all about. When I started attending a Christian (Protestant, non-demoninational) church in high school and made my faith my own, I was baptized again by choice in a friend’s backyard jacuzzi. But still, what did that mean?

I never considered baptism (what my good friend Jessica Nunnally calls) “a salvation issue,” and I still stand upon the belief that it’s what Paul calls “a disputable matter,” or something that Christians are completely allowed to disagree on withone one party being wrong or right (see Romans 14).

So if it’s debatable, what are the arguments? The Jews had a few requirements for officially entering the Jewish faith – one of them being baptism. The “Pending-Jew” or the “Jew-In-Training” (JIT), if you will (I mean that with the utmost respect), was to be completely submerged in a certain number of “hogsheads” worth of water, making sure that every centimeter of his JIT body was touched with the water. There were Official Jews there to help make his baptism complete and after the ceremony had been performed, the guy or gal was what I’d like to call a “New-Jew” (NJ). NJ’s are essentially reborn. Their odometer is at zero, know what I mean? Their life has completely started over.

At the time Paul was writing to the church in Rome, those Christians would have also looked at baptism differently than we do now. Pretty soon after Jesus, Christians were never baptized as infants. It was always an individual move and often meant leaving your family to follow in faith. It wasn’t something your family chose for you at all. Also, the Christians at this time saw baptism kind of like the Jews; it was something that caused you to be reborn. NJs and Christians back at zero. It also involved washing away all your sins and giving a confession/declaration of your faith in Jesus Christ.

In fact, until you were baptized, you were not, at this time in history, a “Christian.” …Wow, so baptism was pretty important to those early Christians… should it be to me? Or is this one of those cultural things I have to take “in context?”

But wait, so around Jesus’ time, baptism was partly for cleansing us of our sins. Jesus was baptized, yet he was sinless. What was that all about? Taking a page from “The Master Plan of Evangelism,” perhaps its purpose was to set an example. Jesus wanted everyone to take their faith seriously, and symbollically be reborn. So, like everything else he expects of us, he tried it first. He went through it to show us how. And why… but I think I missed that part.

The symbolism involving baptism (as used in Romans 6:1-11) is “crazy-awesomeness” (it’s a technically term i use for things otherwise indescribable). So, you’re essentially dunked under water, right? You’re submerged, buried, covered. Kind of like being in a grave. Being dead. So, you’re buried (like Jesus) and dead to your sins (because of Jesus). Then, *SURPRISE!* you come up from the water (raised up like Jesus), all clean (because of Jesus) and smellin’ fantastic! (…like Jesus?)

With all this baptismal information, I’m wondering what you all think. What is baptism for? Is it a “salvation issue?” Is it simply symbollic? Is it to be done older? younger? not at all?

And should you be submerged, sprinkled or (pending)?

(Is God) For Rich or For Poor? Part II

{ June 27, 2008 @ 10:10 pm } · { College Ministry, The Quest }
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Here’s the scripture written in support of each camp…

Being Rich is Good
• Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. – Gen 13:2
• You trample on the poor and force him to give you grain. Therefore, though you have built stone mansions, you will not live in them; though you have planted lush vineyards, you will not drink their wine. – Amos 5:11
• Rich and poor have this in common: The LORD is the Maker of them all. – Prov 22:2
• Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. – Ecc 5:19
• So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. – 1 Kings 3:11-13
• Both riches and honor come from You and you will reign over all.” – 1 Chronicles 29:12
• “Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.” – 1 Tim 6:17
• Jesus looked around and said to His disciples ‘How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom!’ – Mark 10:23
• Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. – Mark 10:21-22

Being Poor is Good
• A rich man may be wise in his own eyes, but a poor man who has discernment sees through him. – Proverbs 28:11

• This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches. – Jer 9:23

• No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. – Luke 16:13

• …the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. – Mark 4:19

• Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. – Ecc 5:10

• Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” – Luke 12:15

• But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” – Ruth 1:16-17

• Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. – Mark 10:21

(Is God) For Rich or For Poor?

{ June 27, 2008 @ 10:06 pm } · { College Ministry, The Quest }
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Summer Quest has arrived! Adelle began our summer series on “Disputable Matters” based up Romans 14. Paul explains that there are salvation issues in our faith that are definable as having one true answer. In other words, there are some basic foundational matters which Christian should not allow differing opionions. One Truth sort of thing.

But then there are all these “disputable matters” that we can agree to disagree with as Christians, and that’s okay. You can make two or more arguments using the Bible meaning there is perhaps more than one “right way.” Unfortunately, most of us don’t understand that these “disputable matters” are permitted. It’s okay to walk away from a discussion believing two different things, as long as they are based on Scripture. The disagreements that often divide Christians, create bitterness, and discourage discussion can be transformed into intellectually stimulating conversations that strengthen our beliefs when done in love.

This past Wednesday, I spoke on the two Christian views of wealth. As in, “It’s good to be poor” and “It’s good to be rich.” After presenting both sides equally based on Scripture, I can see that there are in fact, disputable matters. It is a personal calling from God whether or not you have or do not have money. As long as you love the Lord more than your money and you would willingly give it up, I cannot say that being rich is wrong. If you feel more free to give away love when you have nothing else to give, then go be poor. The Lord has gently turned me away from judgement and taught me how to disagree and agree based in love. My talk went a little like this…

Hot Topic: Wealth

How should a Christian view wealth? Is God for rich or for poor?

At first glance, the Bible seems to teach that wealth is wrong for Christians and in fact, even seems to condemn the wealthy. After all, both Jesus and the Old Testament prophets preached against materialism and seemed to say at times that true believers cannot possess wealth. But if that’s ture, all of us sitting at our computers are in the wrong because we are all wealthy by New Testament standards.

But no, the Bible is much more complex than that. Daniel served as a legal secretary in a pagan administration and no doubt lived an upper-middle class lifestyle. Ezekiel lived outside the city in what might have been considered a middle-class lifestyle. Jeremiah certainly lived a lower-class lifestyle.

So which prophet best honored God with his lifestyle? The question seems ridiculous. Each man honored God and followed God’s leading in his life. So what is our own view on the true Christian lifestyle?

CAMP A: SELL EVERYTHING…AND FOLLOW ME “Being Poor is good”

Claiborne argues that it’s easy to see these notions of selling everything and living among the poor as spectacular because the world we live in has lost its imagination. This was normal in the early church.
Wealth → Sin
1. Wealth has negative effects, which can cause us to sin. Proverbs 28:11 and Jeremiah 9:23 warn us that wealth often leads to pride and arrogance. Wealth also tempts us to forget about God because we no longer have to look to God for our basic provisions.

2. Having things is dangerous because having a preoccupation, obsession or fascination with anything other than God is sinful and is displeasing to God. We are to “love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might” (Deut. 6:5). Therefore, God is the only thing that we can and should occupy ourselves with habitually. He alone is worthy of our complete attention, love and service.

3. The early Christians said that if a child starves while a Christian has extra food, then the Christian is guilty of murder.

Wealth → Discontentment
1. Luke 16:13 – “we cannot serve both God and money.” We must seek to be content with what we have and wealth and materialism are the exact opposite of that contentment.
a. If you’ve ever been to a 3rd world country, you’d know that the kids there are beyond happy.

2. When we concern ourselves with the material world, we are easily drawn in by the “deceit of riches” (Mark 4:19), thinking that we will be happy or fulfilled or content if only we had more of whatever it is we are chasing.

3. Ecc 5:10 – “He who loves silver shall not be satisfied with silver.” Solomon – was the riches king the world has ever known. He had absolutely everything and had more of it than anyone. Yet he found it all was worthless and meaningless.

4. Luke 12:15 – “life is not in the abundance of things which he possess.”

Poor → Genuine Relationships
1. Claiborne: “servant hood is a fine place to begin. But gradually we move toward mutual love, genuine relationships. Someday, we can perhaps even say those words that Ruth said to Naomi after years of partnership: “Where you go I go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.” Ruth 1:16-17

Poor → True Peace and Love
2. Claiborne also said that it wasn’t until he was leaving India and had given away everything, even his secret stash of Gatorade and emergency cash, did he feel completely at peace. Now all he had left to give was pure love.

3. Mark 10:21 – Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

CAMP B: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS BUT YOU CAN KEEP THEM “Being Rich is good.”
Poor → More Poor
1. Some argue that the cause of poor people is poor people. Meaning one who grows up poor will have a hard time not being poor also. Because of this, wealthy Christians are to use their gifts and abilities to help those caught in the cycle of poverty. A combo of money and time spent with the poor can also provide opportunities for evangelism.

Poor → Detached from Wealthy
1. Poor people cannot easily evangelize to the wealthy. Culture does not allow it. If all Christians were poor, it would alienate all wealthy people.

Wealth → Blessing from God

1. Wealth itself is never condemned. Gen 13:2 – Abraham had great wealth.

2. When wealthy people were condemned, they were condemned for the means by which their riches were obtained, NOT the riches themselves. OT prophet Amos spoke against the injustice of obtaining wealth through oppression or fraud (Amos 4:11, 5:11). Amos is not condemning wealth per se, only the unjust means by which it is sometimes achieved.

3. Wealth is seen as evidence of God’s blessing. (Deut 8:28, Prov 22:2, Ecc. 5:19) There are many times in the Old Testament that God gave riches to his people. Jacob (Genesis 31:16), the tribe of Manasseh (Joshua 22:8), Solomon was promised riches and became the wealthiest of all the kings on the earth (1 King 3:11-13, 2 Chron 9:22).
a. God does not condemn anyone for having riches but he gives warnings to those that seek after them more than God and trust in them more than in God.
b. David in 1 Chronicles 29:12 – “Both riches and honor come from You and you will reign over all.”

Wealth → To be Enjoyed
1. 1 Tim 6:17 gives us a warning to the rich: “Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, WHO GIVES US RICHLY ALL THINGS TO ENJOY.”

2. In Job, all his material possessions are taken away and then given back to him to be enjoyed.
Wealthy → Can Give to the Poor
1. Giving to the Poor: in Leviticus 19:9-10, the gleaning laws were made to help the poor. Farmers reaped their crops but left the corners of their fields unharvested and anything that fell to the ground was left for the poor.
a. If you take this as an example of our responsibility to give to the poor, you take what is yours and what you have worked for and give the leftovers and a little extra to those less fortunate.

Wealthy → Can Indeed Enter into the Kingdom
1. Jesus looked around and said to His disciples ‘How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom!’ (Mark 10:23) Hard, yes but not impossible. Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13) Being rich is fine, as long as you trust and know Christ as Savior.

2. Materialism is wrong. Yes. Mark 10:21. Not actually saying that you have to sell everything. It’s saying that you cannot hold anything above God. This could easily apply to obsessions other than money. It is simply instructing those who have a love for money to proceed with real caution – do not hold money above God.

Questions for Discussion:
1. What were your views on wealth before ? What are they now?
a. Did they change or were they strengthened? In what ways?
2. Are you more afraid of being poor or being rich? Why?
3. Do you have any other verses that support your argument you’d like to share?

Join me in my journey to Seattle…

{ June 23, 2008 @ 8:12 pm } · { The Inn }
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In case this didn’t make it to anyone out there… here is my support letter for my service in Seattle with University Ministries’ college ministry – The Inn!  (Click here to support me financially.)

***

Hello My Loved Ones!

 

            Well, after graduating Magna Cum Lade from Loyola Marymount University with a degree in Communication Studies, I am leaving Los Angeles and heading up to “The City of Goodwill” – Seattle!  This decision was very surprising (at least to me), but God works in unexpected ways and I couldn’t be more excited about the opportunity.

 

Beginning in August, I will be working with the University Ministries, a college ministry of University Presbyterian Church in Seattle; I will be one of five full-time coordinators on UMin’s 12- person staff. UMin focuses on building relationships with University of Washington students to encourage and challenge them as they grow in their personal walks of faith.

 

A major part of UMin outreach occurs at “The Inn” where every Tuesday night more than 1,000 students gather to praise God, hear the Gospel through an insightful message and experience fellowship within the body of Christ.  After experiencing Bel Air Presbyterian’s college ministry, “The Quest,” I can say wholeheartedly that I have a deep love and passion for serving God through interpersonal relationships with college students.

 

One of my main responsibilities at UMin will be to plan and coordinate the events of the Inn.  I will also have the opportunity to lead a small group Bible study (as I have for the past 3 years), meet with students one-on-one, plan retreats and other events, in addition to co-leading a missions trip abroad.

 

I look at the job I will soon begin with great anticipation about the amazing ways I will get to see God work, but also with apprehension about the challenges I will face serving God in full-time ministry.  I know that next year will require not only dependence on God, but dependence on the love and encouragement of others.  Because of this, UMin has asked me to create a prayer support team as part of my internship.

 

The primary purpose for this is to provide me with people who will pray consistently for me.  The other purpose is to raise $2,500 that will be used by UMin to fund mission trips and other ministry expenses.  Financial support is fully tax deductible, and any contributions I receive over my individual goal of $2,500 will also go to the ministry as a whole.  If you choose to support me, whether with prayerfully, financially, or both, please let me know and I’ll send you the support form.  If you would prefer to give online with credit card or e-check, you can go to www.theinnseattle.org and click the link “Donate Online” and then select the sub-funds titled “University Ministries”–”UMin Intern. 

 

Friends and family, I would greatly appreciate any type of support you feel God is laying on your heart to give. God has been so faithful to use your love, friendship and fellowship to shape my life to this point, and I look forward to sharing in this next step with you.

 

With Love,

Jenn

                 

    

My new home — Seattle!

The Small Group I Led

Bittersweetness in HR

{ June 20, 2008 @ 12:50 am } · { Uncategorized }
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rawr

It’s finally finalized.  My end date at MGM Studios is June 24th.

They just called Steven, the newbie intern.  Steven, the HR major at CSULB.  Steven, the guy I recruited for my own job.  Steven…the Stealer!

Alright, so I’m a little bitter.

But this can easily be turned into a positive thing.  I love my job.  I’m a rare breed in that respect.  I love getting to work early.  I look forward to the rush I get when my boss asks me to take a contract up to the Oscar studded 14th floor for a signature from CEO, Harry Sloan.  The feeling I get when I walk down the movie poster-clad hallways, remembering how I promised myself on the first day to always thank God for this blessed opportunity.  The pride I take in working for a film studio that boasts a reputation as one of the most prestigious and glamorous in all of Hollywood (not that any of that really matters…but still. Ha.)

Sometimes I even ”forget” to take off my badge in public.  “Oh, this?  Whoops, just my Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer badge.  Sorry.  Wow, how embarassing…” *forced chuckle*

I suppose at first glance all this could look like boasting.  Like I’m proud of my relevance.  But I could be doing HR for a non-profit and feel the same.  In fact, a lot of the things I’ll be doing in Seattle coincide with what I do at MGM.  Meet with people, form relationships, recruit, and comfort.

It’s been an amazing run here at MGM in the Human Resources department.  It’s shown me that you can (and should) love your job, no matter where it is.  Now I won’t settle for less. 

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.  That everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction in his toil – this is the gift of God.”
                                                           -Ecc. 3:12-13

Now I know just how happy I can be.  Rawr.

The Prayer Score Guide

{ June 18, 2008 @ 8:05 pm } · { humor }
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I’m going to ease into this blogging world by first sharing other writings I find amusing.  But worry not, I’m sure I won’t be able to hold back my own musings for long. 

Rhett Smith, my former college pastor (former in the sense that I graduated and former since he’s relocating to TX), told me about this satirical blog titled “Stuff Christians Like.”  The author explores all the idiosyncrasies of the Christian world — and it got me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my pristine, rollie office chair. 

“It’s probably not good that I measure the quality of my group prayers by the number of grunts of affirmation I get. What are those? A grunt of affirmation is when you pray in a group and someone near you says, “Mhm” or “Unh” or some other grunt like statement that means, “I’m down with that.”…

The Stuff Christian Like Prayer Score Card

…12. You over repeat God’s name as if He has forgotten it e.g. “God, Lord, Father, Alpha and Omega we pray to you Holy One, Messiah” = minus 1 point per each usage

13. You say “sweet baby Jesus” while praying = +1 point per each usage

14. You pray after the appointed “closer” has ended the prayer session = minus 5 points

15. You pray so long that some people start jingling their car keys as an indication of their desire to leave = minus 1 point

16. You quote an entire Bible verse in the middle of your prayer = + 1 point

17. The verse is from the King James Version = +2 points

Check out the rest of this article — titled “The Prayer Grunt of Affirmation”…and let me know how you scored next time you pray publicly. 

prayer